Tuesday, February 18, 2014

the starting point….!!

Today I want to  start a process of writing ,start walking the journey to  life ,7 Years Journey to Life.

I want to  walk the process of 7 years journey to Life ,because I realize that I have to change Me-as a mind ,to live in  physical reality with Equality with All Life.
So..from this point I need to  change,stop the mind -emotions ,feelings,mind programming ,which I existed for eons of time …,and because of that I separate myself from real  life ,which is physicality.
  So  little about me -wanted introduce myself 

I start watching desteni video in 2007…,but then I was heavy involved with spirituality ,like healing with angels ,healing with crystals ,reiki ,meditation,channeling,shamanic rituals,deprogramming mind with Stuard Swerdlow, conspiracy theory .The information wich was sherd was intriguing and scary.During my spirituality years I kept looking the video of desteni. But i did not made the decision of walking ,I still want to hide ,even thou whats was happening around me was not that pretty ,with all this light  and love motion the insides of me I experience totally different  side.This side ,the dark side of me I felt long time ago ..and actually thats why I was looking for help and end up in spiritual movement.

I did sign up for dip lite and finish this process a couple months ago ,but after that I did not start the writings ,writing so I will change myself .I found many excuses to not write blogs .
Reading and listening many materials I know that I have to change and this is decision do it or not ..its simple …,but I postpone so many times(postponing the things is big point for me ..which I have to investigate deeper)
I used many excuses …,but i decide to start .
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to postpone writing and changing myself 
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to always find the excuse to  not face myself ,to still keep this bubble of ego,because of self interest.
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to hide ,to hide behind ego ,because of fear ,of fear of me ,because I still  want  keep the personality of ego,personality which I kept ,because of self interested.
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself myself not to take the chance and challenge to stand up ,but still be observer , hiding in my mind ,because it felt safer ,not realizing ,that in order to really stand up and change me  I have to be self honest ,I  can not do half here or there ,because this can not be real.
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to fuel myself with all kind of knowledge ,which i was using like a hiding tool ,so I can feel better about myself,to never put the knowledge to practical living reality ,physical reality ,the real life.
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to be scared even now when I write ,scared of judgment ,..not realizing that this judgment is coming from me ,not anybody else ,I judge me in my mind .
I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself give up easy,not pushing myself ,not investigate myself farther ,but totally give in up on myself,not taking chances,…not realizing that I have to do  the work .to stand up  for me ,that I am the one who decide and I am the one who is responsible for me ,that I can have all kind of tools ,but the walk has to be mine ,alone in the sense of self responsibility.
I commit myself to  not hide anymore ,to investigate me as mind conscience system ,to not judge the me as mind ,but ratter to see and investigate how did I get there,how did I create me .
I commit myself to write every day ,to push myself ,to be in physical reality .
I commit myself to used 4 count of breath ,to slowed down and direct myself in physical reality  .
Thank You !!